“The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.”
Things I say to myself to help me deal.
There are times we all go through that just straight up suck.
During these times, it can be hard to think about anything other than what’s going on. We can become so consumed in our own misery that we often overshadow any glimmer of hope.
Through my own experiences of hopelessness, confusion, and doubt, I’ve learned to establish a few simple, but very effective phrases to help me stay positive and to keep things in perspective.
So now, whenever things cross my path that may initially seem unbearable, or if I begin to doubt myself, I just remember and repeat some of the following mantras:
1. Keep your head up and your heart open.
I repeated this phrase to myself over and over again after my aforementioned breakup. At the time, the last thing I ever wanted to do was to open myself up again.
I trusted myself that if I just kept my head up and my heart open, good things would come into my life. And I’m glad I listened to myself.
I use this phrase both literally and figuratively.
By actually keeping your head up, smiling at people as they walk by, and keeping aware of your surroundings, you may notice something or meet someone that you potentially could have missed had your head been down.
When to use: During a break up, when you feel let down by someone, or when you feel betrayed or mistrust.
2. Go slowly.
Now, whenever I feel like I’m rushing to just get things done, I slow down my pace, take a deep breath, and take my time with whatever it is I am rushing to do.
When we slow down, we can taste all the flavors in our food and we digest our meals better. We are better communicators when we talk slower, and we become better listeners.
It’s quality over quantity.
When to use: When you are in a rush on the highway, when you’re rushing out to get lunch, or walking around the office, when you feel pressure from deadlines, or while you’re annoyed sitting in traffic.
3. Be easy.
Or in other words, don’t sweat the small stuff.
I learned to not get so worked up over the small things, stressing about matters that, in the end, really didn’t make a difference.
So, if you find yourself getting road rage from the guy that cut you off on the highway, let him be. Why get angry and stress yourself out over it? Just be easy.
Did someone on the train bump you as they walked by? Who cares? The cab is packed; it wasn’t her fault. Be easy.
When to use: When it’s 1 AM and you’re wide awake in bed, thinking about the next day’s to do list, when you spill on your new white tank top, or when the copy machine at work jams. Be easy. There are far worse things in life.
4. Let Sirena be Sirena (swap out my name with yours).
Most of us wear masks. And most of us are afraid to be ourselves, simply out of fear of judgment.
We take jobs we don’t really care for, stay in relationships we don’t genuinely love, and pretend to be someone different for everybody else.
I’m telling you, it’s a heck of a lot easier to just be you—whatever that means, whenever, wherever.
While you’re too busy making yourself appear to be someone else, you kill yourself from the inside out. And it can be a long, slow and painful death to your soul.
Bottom line? Accept yourself for who you are, and just be you.
This was the hardest lesson for me to accept, but the one that has given me the greatest clarity and direction in life.
When to use: Times when you are questioning yourself, when you feel outside pressure to do/be/say/act in a way that is not congruent with your true nature, or when you hold back from doing what you truly want to do because you’re afraid of being judged.
These mantras helped me get to this point. Having them has been an effective trick to help me stay positive and on track.