The more angry and frustrated you become, the more unpredictable you are. ‘Self help anger management’ or ‘anger management counseling’ can both be effective, when you at times can’t think straight through anger and frustration.
When you are very very angry, you may hardly know what you are doing. Perhaps you have even forgotten what you have done whilst in the grip of the ‘red mist’.
“Anger management counseling” (as some people might call it) is going to be much more helpful, than just learning what to do with your anger.
Read on for some of my anger management tips :
– Avoid making assumptions or jump to conclusions at all cost.
– Keep focusing on what is being said.
– Avoid interruptions with: “Yes, but…”, or “No, I don’t….”.
– Check what was meant before you respond.
– Remain respectful regardless of someone else’s reactions.
– Avoid wanting to be right – this is one of my best anger management tips.
– Avoid holding a monologue.
– Avoid provocations.
Very angry? Take a break.
– State calmly that you would like a little time out to reflect.
– Agree a time limit for the break – at least twenty minutes.
– Take some deep breaths, breath out very slowly.
– Continue with counting your breaths: 7 counts in, 11 counts out.
– Divert your attention – read, plan, talk to someone else.
– Avoid ‘rehearsing’ your reasons for being angry or being right.
– Allow your mind and body to calm down – 20 min at least if possible.
– Then consider the situation from the other person’s perspective.
– Start with listening fully to what the other person has to say.
– Finish the conversation acknowledging the positives, however small.
– Each day set some time aside to write down your thoughts and feelings before you go to sleep.
– Accept that you cannot change anybody else but yourself.
There is no excuse whatsoever for aggressive behavior! However, there may be an explanation.
These self help anger management tips are useful in any situation where something becomes just ‘too much’ and you can’t take it anymore.