We all have experienced at one time or another in our daily life when someone puts us down or pass unkind remarks. Sometimes we can’t help but feel frustrated because those remarks are untrue. There is no need to feel frustrated or angry once you understand the reason why people put down others and how to deal with them.
1. People put down others because there is a conflict between their beliefs and what they perceive about their environment, which in this case is a person. This dissonance between belief and perceived environment may make them feel uncomfortable, frustrated or even angry. To reduce their dissonance, one action people may take is to force their own beliefs onto others. This happens regardless if those beliefs are correct or not.
2. As an example, if the source of Person X’s dissonance is you, Person X will try to force his/her own belief onto others by either directly putting you down, or indirectly by encouraging his/her friends to agree with his/her belief.
3. People who try to force their own beliefs onto others are vulnerable to being ignored. This is because people who communicate need feedback or acknowledgment and are actively seeking it. When feedback is missing, beliefs cannot be communicated.
4. To deal with situations when someone puts you down, do not react immediately by yelling back at them or displaying aggression. Doing so will enforce their actions, making the person feel better because they feel that their actions have perceived outcomes.
5. Keep calm and think about what the person have said. If what he/she said is true, then you may wish to accept the remarks as a form of constructive feedback to improve yourself.
6. If what the person said is untrue, simply ignore them and their comments. This situation is like the classic “crazy old lady” in the neighborhood randomly screaming curses at anyone. There is no need to waste time and energy thinking about it and feeling frustrated or angry. Simply ignore and avoid the person.
7. Unless the person is incredibly thick-headed, he/she will usually leave you alone after being ignored.