Tag Archives: Admire

7 Tips Getting Over A Break Up

1. Letting Go.

What would you do if your house was burnt to the ground, and everything you owned was destroyed? I’m sure you’d be frustrated and angry at first, but at the same time, no amount of anger will undo what has been done. It is what it is. Your best bet is to begin moving on, and working towards creating a new home.

Similarly, when a relationship ends, you’ll want to practice letting go and allowing the healing process to begin quickly.

If you were on the receiving end of a breakup, do not dwell on whether the person will come back or not, if they broke up with you at one point, chances are, something is wrong with the fit of your partnership, and you’ll be better appreciated elsewhere, with someone else. Even if you and the ex get back together, it is unlikely to last.

Trust that everything in the Universe happens for a reason, and it benefits everyone involved in the long run, even if the benefits are not yet clear. Trust that this is the best possible thing to happen to you right now, and the reasons will become clear in the future.

2. Release Tension and Bundled Up Energy.

We all have the need to be understood and heard. Whether we’re on the receiving end or the initiating end of a breakup, we often carry with us the tension and any unexpressed emotions. We can release this extra energy by:

  • Talking about it with a friend.
  • Voicing our opinions honestly and openly with our ex-partner, which have been bottled up in the past.
  • Punching a pillow and crying freely for 10 minutes.
  • Screaming out aloud and imagining unwanted energy being released with your voice (seriously, I’ve done a meditation that incorporated this, and I instantly felt better).
  • Writing in a journal (more on this later).
  • Exercise and body movement.
  • Meditating.

3. Love Yourself.

The practice of loving yourself is the most important aspect on the road to personal happiness and emotional stability. I’ve personally had my most valuable personal growth spurts during the period when I vigorously worked on this aspect of my life.

I did everything from cooking myself fancy dinners, to spending every Sunday on my own doing the things that I loved, to taking myself to Symphonies, to taking overseas trips on my own. Each one had its own challenges and confronted my beliefs about loneliness. Through overcoming the fear of loneliness, I experienced deep joy all by myself. It was so gratifying, refreshing and empowering.

Here are some ideas to cultivate the art of loving yourself:

  • Take yourself on romantic dates as if you were on a date with another person. Put on nice clothes, maybe buy yourself flowers, treat yourself to something delicious, and take long walks under the stars. Whatever your idea of a romantic date is.
  • Look at yourself in the mirror. Look yourself in the eyes. Smile slightly with your eyes. Practice giving gratitude to what you see. You don’t need words. Just send out the intent of giving an abundance of love to the eyes that you see, and feel the feelings of love within you. As you are looking into your eyes, look for something you admire about your eyes – maybe the color, the shape, the depth, the exoticness, or even the length of your eye lashes. This will be a little weird and uncomfortable at first, but just trust me, and continue with it. Do this for a few minutes every day.
  • Sit or stand in front of a mirror, or sit somewhere comfortable (mix it up, and do both on different days), put both hands on your chest and say to yourself, “I love you, <insert your name>”. Repeat a few times, slowly. Continue with qualities you like about yourself, or things you are good at. Be generous and list many, even if they sound silly. Example, “I love that you always know how to make your salads so colorful and appetizing.”, “I love that you have the discipline to go to the gym regularly, and you really take care of your body.”, “I love that you are so neat, and can keep your desk so organized.”
  • Practice doing things on your own to challenge your fear of being alone. For example, if you have a fear of eating alone in a restaurant, go out to a restaurant on your own. Your mission is to find the joy within that experience.

4. Love Your Ex-Partner.

Allow the love within you to flow. Try practicing forgiveness and open up your heart.

Over the past few months, my friend and I have been chatting about the topic of overcoming breakups. He had been married for 2 years and went through a divorce that took him 2 years to emotionally recover from. When asked about how he got over his ex-wife, he had a few snippets of wisdom to convey:

  • “I let myself love her. Even when it felt like my heart was going to break. He says something amazing – when people say, ‘My heart feels like it is going to break.’ He says, ‘Let it break. If you let it really break – really, really break, it will transform you.’”
  • “LET YOUR HEART BREAK WIDE OPEN. Let go of every possible belief or thought that says your ex is anything other than the most incredible, amazing, wonderful person in the Universe. You gotta love them and open your broken heart, WIDE OPEN! That’s how to get over a break-up, really get over it. Anything short of that is not gonna do it.”
  • “The key for me was getting utterly clear: we are apart, and the Universe never makes mistakes. We are over. And I can still love her. That was HUGE. I can love her with all my heart and soul and we never have to be together. And when I realized that, I felt amazing. And still do. The freedom was great. I could finally own-up to how much I wanted out of our relationship. All the hurt and anger disappeared. I was free.”

The underlying message of love in my friend’s words is pretty clear and powerful.

5. Give it Time.

It takes time to heal. Be patient. Give it more time. I promise the storm will end, and the sun will peak through the clouds.

6. Journal Your Experience.

Spend some quality time in a comfortable chair, at your desk or at a café, and write your thoughts and feelings on paper. No, not typing on a laptop, writing on paper with a pen. Follow your heart and flow freely, but if you’re stuck, here are some writing exercises you can do:

  • Drill into the why – Start with a question or statement, and continue to drill into why you feel that way until you have a truthful and satisfying reason. The exercise isn’t to issue blame or blow off steam at someone else. It’s meant to gain clarity and understanding into how you feel, so you can alleviate unnecessary pain. For example, you might start with the statement, “I am in a lot of pain, ouch!”, and your why might be “because she left me”. Now ask yourself, “why does that hurt so much?”, and one possible why might be, “because I feel abandoned”. The following why to “why does feeling abandoned hurt so much?”, “because it makes me feel alone”, etc. More than likely, the real reason has something to do with our own insecurities or fears.
  • Finding the Lessons – What did you learn from the relationship? What did you learn from the other person? How is your life better because of it? How will your future relationships be better because of it?

7. Read Something Inspirational.

Books that deal with our emotions and ego are incredible tools at a time of healing. They help to enlighten our understanding of ourselves and our experiences.

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Why Do People Back-Bite?

The people who back-bit about you, are not considered as friends. This is very common among young aged group, and especially among friends. People usually feel bad about not having something the other person has. As we all know, nobody is perfect. Someone is beautiful but not intelligent, while someone is not beautiful but is very good at studies. At times people envy those who are popular too.

People feel jealous about your looks, the way you carry yourself, the way people admire you. These are the most common reasons of feeling jealous and when they feel jealous they feel insecure and they talk behind your back and try and turn other people against you. They make fake stories, and tell other people bad things about you. At times people do agree to what they are saying, misunderstandings are created.

People who do such stuff are basically frustrated from their life and they feel jealous from other people’s success or their happiness since they don’t have happiness in their life they don’t want others to be happy too. So with such people all you can do is just ignore them, let them say what ever they want to. You know who you are and what you are, you don’t need to explain yourself to the others. And you’ll see they won’t do that any long.

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Teach Your Child To Respect Women.

One of the most important values you can teach your child is how to respect women. Children, especially young children, learn to respect others by modeling behavior. Children learn appropriate and respectful behavior by observing the behavior of those around them.

Below is a list of parenting techniques to help you teach your child how to respect women.

1. Be a Good Role Model.
Treat all of the women in your life with fairness and equality. Treat all women in the manner in which you would like to be treated. Value the women in your life. Your child will learn to respect women from observing your respectful behavior towards women.

2. Value Your Child.
The most effective way to teach respect is to show respect. Valuing other’s opinions, accepting people as they are, being polite, kind, and admiring the people closest to you are key components of respect. Teach your child to respect women by valuing, accepting and admiring your child. Your child will learn through personal experience the importance of treating women with respect.

3. Be Honest.
Teach your child, through example, the value of honesty. Admitting when you do something wrong and apologizing for your actions will help your child learn the value of honesty and respect.

4. Be Positive.
Do not tolerate sexist language and attitudes. Do not embarrass, insult or make fun of your child or the women in your life. Instead, compliment your child and the women in your life. Remember, your child will learn from your behavior.

5. Be Polite.
Teach your child the importance of being polite and courteous to others.

6. Be Caring. 
It is important to teach your child to be empathetic to all individuals. Doing so will teach your child to be accepting of diversity.

7. Self-Respect.
It is important that you teach your child to value themselves. It is much easier to respect others when we respect ourselves.

8. Listen to Your Child.
Listen to your child’s concerns and ideas. Only by listening to your child can you help them mold positive values such as respect for women.

9. Show Your Child Love.
Make your child feel loved on a daily basis. Even if they make a mistake or behave inappropriately, remind them that they are loved. Remind your child that although their behavior was inappropriate and unacceptable, they are still loved and valued.

10. Do Not Tolerate Violent or Aggressive Behavior.
Teach your child that it is NOT acceptable to act violently towards others. If your child acts in an aggressive manner towards women it is important to take the time to explain why this behavior is unacceptable. Explain to your child alternative ways in which to resolve conflict other than through violence.

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