Tag Archives: Gym

Overcoming Stress With A Healthy Lifestyle. Applying These Tools To Your Life.

Overcoming Stress With A Healthy Lifestyle.
Applying These Tools To Your Life.

These tools help you to reduce the stress you experience by adopting a healthy lifestyle. They will, however, only do you any good if you use them!

To make these tools part of your life, do the following:

  • Are you getting enough sleep? If you are not, make sure that you do – you will feel much more alive, you will improve your concentration and you will be more effective at work.
  • Think about when you last went on vacation. If this was a long time ago, you may be feeling run down or over-stretched. Book a relaxing vacation somewhere nice. Ensure that you have prepared properly for it so that you do not have to take your mobile phone or laptop. Relax.
  • Take vacations regularly. Keep fresh and alert by using all of your vacation time each year.
  • Make sure that you make time for rest during the week. Find something that you enjoy doing that helps you to relax.
  • Think about the chemicals you consume. Do you need to improve your diet, cut down on caffeine or alcohol, or give up smoking? If so, do it.
  • If you are not exercising regularly, then get a medical check-up and start. Join a gym, sports club or something similar. Find a sport or fitness regime that you enjoy, and get into the habit of exercising regularly.
  • Make sure that your living and working environments are pleasant, and that your life is well organized. If your working environment or commute is unpleasant, consider moving job or home.
  • List the stresses that you are currently experiencing. If there are stresses that seem particularly overwhelming, ask yourself if there are people within your network who could help. If appropriate, ask for their help.
  • Make sure that you make time to socialize with your friends and co-workers. Make appropriate time to help people within your network if they need your help.
  • Set aside some time to try meditation as ways to relax. Choose the technique or the mixture of techniques that you find most useful.
  • If you are currently experiencing a lot of stress, make time to use your chosen technique on a daily basis.
  • Make time in your schedule for things you enjoy – these should go some way to balancing the unpleasantness of any stress you are experiencing.

Warning:

Stress can cause severe health problems and, in extreme cases, can cause death. While these stress management techniques have been shown to have a positive effect on reducing stress, they are for guidance only, and readers should take the advice of suitably qualified health professionals if they have any concerns over stress-related illnesses or if stress is causing significant or persistent unhappiness. Health professionals should also be consulted before any major change in diet or levels of exercise.

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How To Ignore Your Feelings For Someone That Doesn’t Feel The Same?

Love hurts. It’s only human nature that we will feel hurt if the person doesn’t feel the same way as you do. Maybe you’re trying hard to get over someone but it’s just not working. Here is a guide that will help you get over that someone.

  1. Sometimes it is best to try to block out your feelings, so why not start a new hobby or join a club/group.
  2. Delete them from any social websites or from phone contacts.
  3. Perhaps try avoiding them for a while. When you don’t see somebody for a while, your feelings begin to fade.
  4. If you can’t avoid them, just think of all the good reasons that you are better without them.
  5. You will find someone better. There are plenty more fish in the sea. So start looking!
  6. Make new friends. Meeting new people is often a good way to take your mind off somebody. You may even fall for someone else.
  7. Focus on all the good points in your life. You are very lucky.
  8. Concentrate on school/work and other things.
  9. Try to arrange a day out with friends or family.
  10. Treat yourself to a new bag/clothes/makeup/games etc. Something new and different will lift your spirits.
  11. Have a new passion or goal, whether it’s saving the Eco system or making sure you get to a sale bright and early in the morning. You will soon block out your feelings.
  12. Listen to music. Music will help you control your feelings. Do NOT listen to love songs! Listen to a song that you can dance to.
  13. Go to the gym. When we exercise we release chemicals in our body that make us feel happy.
  14. Watch a movie either on you own or with family/friends. Preferably one that’s a comedy or anything as long as it has nothing to do with romance, unless you’re sure that it won’t remind you of your feelings.
  15. Do something creative, i.e. draw a picture using oil pastels or paint, make jewelry, design a website, design a cartoon slideshow on the fun website “Scratch”.
  16. Read a book, or a magazine that will cheer you up.
  17. Do a good deed. Helping people should make you feel better about yourself.
  18. Remember that you have done nothing wrong, they haven’t either, it just wasn’t meant to be.
  19. Try to become better friends with some of your acquaintances. It’s always nice to have someone there for you, so becoming good friends with a person will make both you and them happy and you may even be friends for years!
  20. Maybe write a new song, or write a poem/story.
  21. Cut out different body parts of people from a magazine or paper, and put them together to see what you have created! – A good laugh!
  22. Write a big list about all the good things and people in your life.
  23. Play an old board game, or karaoke.
  24. Try out a new look, by using a different type of makeup or getting a different hair cut.

Tips :

  • DON’T listen to love songs, they will just bring back your feelings.
  • Perhaps if you are finding it too hard to suppress your feelings you should talk to someone about it (someone you trust).
  • Watching a comedy with friends will make you feel better about yourself.
  • DON’T comfort eat! It won’t do you any good in the long run!
  • Watch a favorite movie or a cheesy movie.

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7 Tips Getting Over A Break Up

1. Letting Go.

What would you do if your house was burnt to the ground, and everything you owned was destroyed? I’m sure you’d be frustrated and angry at first, but at the same time, no amount of anger will undo what has been done. It is what it is. Your best bet is to begin moving on, and working towards creating a new home.

Similarly, when a relationship ends, you’ll want to practice letting go and allowing the healing process to begin quickly.

If you were on the receiving end of a breakup, do not dwell on whether the person will come back or not, if they broke up with you at one point, chances are, something is wrong with the fit of your partnership, and you’ll be better appreciated elsewhere, with someone else. Even if you and the ex get back together, it is unlikely to last.

Trust that everything in the Universe happens for a reason, and it benefits everyone involved in the long run, even if the benefits are not yet clear. Trust that this is the best possible thing to happen to you right now, and the reasons will become clear in the future.

2. Release Tension and Bundled Up Energy.

We all have the need to be understood and heard. Whether we’re on the receiving end or the initiating end of a breakup, we often carry with us the tension and any unexpressed emotions. We can release this extra energy by:

  • Talking about it with a friend.
  • Voicing our opinions honestly and openly with our ex-partner, which have been bottled up in the past.
  • Punching a pillow and crying freely for 10 minutes.
  • Screaming out aloud and imagining unwanted energy being released with your voice (seriously, I’ve done a meditation that incorporated this, and I instantly felt better).
  • Writing in a journal (more on this later).
  • Exercise and body movement.
  • Meditating.

3. Love Yourself.

The practice of loving yourself is the most important aspect on the road to personal happiness and emotional stability. I’ve personally had my most valuable personal growth spurts during the period when I vigorously worked on this aspect of my life.

I did everything from cooking myself fancy dinners, to spending every Sunday on my own doing the things that I loved, to taking myself to Symphonies, to taking overseas trips on my own. Each one had its own challenges and confronted my beliefs about loneliness. Through overcoming the fear of loneliness, I experienced deep joy all by myself. It was so gratifying, refreshing and empowering.

Here are some ideas to cultivate the art of loving yourself:

  • Take yourself on romantic dates as if you were on a date with another person. Put on nice clothes, maybe buy yourself flowers, treat yourself to something delicious, and take long walks under the stars. Whatever your idea of a romantic date is.
  • Look at yourself in the mirror. Look yourself in the eyes. Smile slightly with your eyes. Practice giving gratitude to what you see. You don’t need words. Just send out the intent of giving an abundance of love to the eyes that you see, and feel the feelings of love within you. As you are looking into your eyes, look for something you admire about your eyes – maybe the color, the shape, the depth, the exoticness, or even the length of your eye lashes. This will be a little weird and uncomfortable at first, but just trust me, and continue with it. Do this for a few minutes every day.
  • Sit or stand in front of a mirror, or sit somewhere comfortable (mix it up, and do both on different days), put both hands on your chest and say to yourself, “I love you, <insert your name>”. Repeat a few times, slowly. Continue with qualities you like about yourself, or things you are good at. Be generous and list many, even if they sound silly. Example, “I love that you always know how to make your salads so colorful and appetizing.”, “I love that you have the discipline to go to the gym regularly, and you really take care of your body.”, “I love that you are so neat, and can keep your desk so organized.”
  • Practice doing things on your own to challenge your fear of being alone. For example, if you have a fear of eating alone in a restaurant, go out to a restaurant on your own. Your mission is to find the joy within that experience.

4. Love Your Ex-Partner.

Allow the love within you to flow. Try practicing forgiveness and open up your heart.

Over the past few months, my friend and I have been chatting about the topic of overcoming breakups. He had been married for 2 years and went through a divorce that took him 2 years to emotionally recover from. When asked about how he got over his ex-wife, he had a few snippets of wisdom to convey:

  • “I let myself love her. Even when it felt like my heart was going to break. He says something amazing – when people say, ‘My heart feels like it is going to break.’ He says, ‘Let it break. If you let it really break – really, really break, it will transform you.’”
  • “LET YOUR HEART BREAK WIDE OPEN. Let go of every possible belief or thought that says your ex is anything other than the most incredible, amazing, wonderful person in the Universe. You gotta love them and open your broken heart, WIDE OPEN! That’s how to get over a break-up, really get over it. Anything short of that is not gonna do it.”
  • “The key for me was getting utterly clear: we are apart, and the Universe never makes mistakes. We are over. And I can still love her. That was HUGE. I can love her with all my heart and soul and we never have to be together. And when I realized that, I felt amazing. And still do. The freedom was great. I could finally own-up to how much I wanted out of our relationship. All the hurt and anger disappeared. I was free.”

The underlying message of love in my friend’s words is pretty clear and powerful.

5. Give it Time.

It takes time to heal. Be patient. Give it more time. I promise the storm will end, and the sun will peak through the clouds.

6. Journal Your Experience.

Spend some quality time in a comfortable chair, at your desk or at a café, and write your thoughts and feelings on paper. No, not typing on a laptop, writing on paper with a pen. Follow your heart and flow freely, but if you’re stuck, here are some writing exercises you can do:

  • Drill into the why – Start with a question or statement, and continue to drill into why you feel that way until you have a truthful and satisfying reason. The exercise isn’t to issue blame or blow off steam at someone else. It’s meant to gain clarity and understanding into how you feel, so you can alleviate unnecessary pain. For example, you might start with the statement, “I am in a lot of pain, ouch!”, and your why might be “because she left me”. Now ask yourself, “why does that hurt so much?”, and one possible why might be, “because I feel abandoned”. The following why to “why does feeling abandoned hurt so much?”, “because it makes me feel alone”, etc. More than likely, the real reason has something to do with our own insecurities or fears.
  • Finding the Lessons – What did you learn from the relationship? What did you learn from the other person? How is your life better because of it? How will your future relationships be better because of it?

7. Read Something Inspirational.

Books that deal with our emotions and ego are incredible tools at a time of healing. They help to enlighten our understanding of ourselves and our experiences.

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How To Move On After A Break Up?

A break up is not the end of the world, and instead of wallowing in self pity or burning with rage, you really should be working on moving on with your life after a break up.

How do we learn to have better relationships? Well, strangely, when the student is ready, the master appeareth… thus goes an old Chinese proverb.

When we need to learn a hard lesson, and have taken things for granted, or have not been able to read a situation well enough, then life itself becomes the teacher. We always remember the time we experienced pain. Avoiding such painful recurrences in future becomes a reflex action that protects us.

But, remember… A break up is not the end of the world and you can always move on after a break up!

A break up is a consequence of what we did, or did not do. It is a time for introspection. It is not a time for instant decisions. This is nature’s way of saying learn from the experience and see that it does not recur.

Here are some tips for those who might be on the terminated side of a relationship:

1. Understand the Pain.

Do not get into revenge mode, what’s done is done. Do not blame yourself for what has happened. Do take time to figure out what went wrong, and what you could have done better. You have lost love, but you have gained a lesson.

2. Pain is nature’s way of saying that something was wrong. Pain is therefore our best teacher.

Let’s learn from this. Do understand that everything in life doesn’t last forever. Some things will fail, in spite of our best efforts. Look at the other significant relationships in your personal life (siblings, parents, friends, colleagues). Try to enhance these, because some of these may have been neglected when you were high on love.

3. Refocus on your Life.

Look at all the things in your life that you had not focused on while you were in a relationship. Revisit your goals and dreams. Have these slipped over the years? Start looking ahead, and planning for the other aspects of your life like your career, your health, etc. Join a gym, go for dance classes, start a new hobby. Do something different.

4. Celebrate Life.

Life is a celebration. But every celebration costs something. How much are you willing to pay life to learn and to evolve? And how would it be if you could understand to read people’s minds and help them back, instead of taking them for granted or getting annoyed with them? Would you then be a better person, or would you instead continue being your old self and try another roll of the dice in the game of love?

You can lock yourself up and wait for the inevitable breakdown in your life, or you can move on after a break up into a better life. The choice, fortunately or unfortunately, is entirely your own!

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Relationship Advice: Breaking Up Hurts For Real And How To Recover Faster

In studies of life’s most stressful events, being divorced or break up is the number two top life stressor, following right behind number one, being widowed. Both can plunge you into severe depression and health problems. Breakup of a significant relationship or marriage creates a panic response in the brain and such stress in the body that neuroscientists believe it can lead to a lowered immune system and illnesses. If you fall into either of these categories, you absolutely need to take care of yourself and do all the activities we discuss.

Women who hadn’t gotten over a relationship by 16 weeks after the breakup had decreased brain activity in the regions associated with emotion, motivation and attention. This is a physical change in the brain. That’s why it is so hard to concentrate on anything-so hard to get up and go. Do not let yourself go this length of time without intervention.

Researchers at UCLA have pinpointed the part of the brain that registers the pain of a break-up. Being rejected activates one of the same areas of the brain as physical pain! In the study, the more ignored the people felt, the more activity they had in the anterior cingulate, which also registers physical distress. So your pain is physiological.

Other researchers at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine have found that a breakup can create physical heart pain and shortness of breath. They call it Broken Heart Syndrome and, of course, it affects more women than men. Emotional stress or rage can actually precipitate a heart attack, so on this one you need to get it medically checked out.

Relationship Advice: Getting Over the Heartbreak Faster

Getting over heartbreak isn’t easy but there are definitely some clinically proven methods to beat the blues. There are five recovery methods I recommend: sharing; meditation; sleep; exercise; and, having imaginary conversations with the ex. In one study, talking about their negative feelings lessened the participant’s activity in the pain-feeling part of the brain. Among the recommendations coming out of the UCLA study is that a good remedy for heartache is to spend time sharing with close friends, because this activity causes the brain to release natural opioids, which are like the painkillers found in opium. So make a beeline for your friends, a sponsor, a minister or someone else you confide in.

A second group of recovery methods recommended by the Johns Hopkins researchers emphasizes practicing relaxation techniques, including meditation, deep breathing or journaling out your feelings.

Sleep is very important to helping immune function but with the depressive reactions that many have, sleep may be hard to come by. This is another reason to consider starting a regular relaxation or meditation program-these have been shown to help people sleep better. Also, working out at the gym may help, because it releases opioids.

One final way to beat the blues comes from a study that showed that people who had imaginary conversations and then said goodbye to their partner had more relief from grief than those who didn’t. Here is one imaginary conversation that Darlene, had with her very narcissistic ex:

“You are so classically narcissistic! You only think of yourself. You sucked me in at first with all this generosity, but once you had me, you only took, took, took. And you were the one who abandoned the relationship, even though I bent over backward for you, you jerk! Withdrawing slowly from me to the point where there was nothing left. You stonewalling jerk! Even though you were the one withdrawing, you provoked me into ending it by actually going on Match and chatting online in the same room as me! How humiliating! And now I hear you are happy. It makes me so upset! You never deserved me and I hope in your next relationships you’ll get exactly what you dealt out–a lot of bullshit in a charming voice. You wasted my time and my life these past 2 years. I fell for it, I didn’t self-protect, I was too anxious to be in a relationship and I ignored the signs. I wanted someone else to do the hard work for me. Well, I have learned that I have to do it. I will watch out for myself. I will speak up for myself!”

Airing these pent-up issues and feelings helped Darlene let go and later she moved forward into a relationship with a terrific guy she met at church. Similarly allowing yourself to be with and process your own thoughts and feelings, no matter how painful they are will also allow you to move beyond them and the guy who triggered it all.

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Positive Self Talk Leads To Success

Good Things Come to Those Who Believe.

Most people are naturally motivated—even excited—when they begin a new exercise routine or adopt a healthier diet. You’ve got your goals set, a plan to reach them, and nothing can get in your way.

But as time goes by, the novelty wears off and your optimistic attitude can give way to feelings of doubt and dissatisfaction. Or even worse, you start comparing yourself with everyone else, mentally beating yourself up for not being as “good” or successful as they are. These negative thoughts and feelings are especially common when you’re not seeing results despite your hard work.

Sure, it’s much easier to fill your head with negative self-talk than it is to give yourself a mental pep talk. But the latter is exactly what you need to do in order to stay on track.

What you think about while you exercise, for example, affects whether or not you’ll finish today’s, tomorrow’s and even next week’s workout. If you can focus on the positives instead of the flaws when you look in the gym mirrors, you’ll be more likely to keep your appointment with the treadmill. But when your thoughts are negative or you’re comparing your thighs with someone else’s, you’re more likely to feel insecure and unmotivated, which means you’ll stop early and maybe not show up tomorrow. Researchers agree.

In a recent study from the University of Wisconsin in Whitewater, 92 female college students exercised on a stationary bike for 30 minutes, while reading one of two randomly assigned magazines (Oxygen, a women’s fitness magazine or, O the Oprah magazine, a general interest publication), or nothing at all. Those who read the fitness magazine reported more feelings of anxiety, depression and poor mood after working out than before they started. By comparison, women who read Oprah or nothing at all experienced a boost in mood after exercising. The researchers speculate that both women and men can become depressed by viewing fitness (and fashion) magazines because they feel they’ll never look as good as the models they see.

What you tell yourself while you walk the extra mile or turn down a co-worker’s brownie will often determine whether you’ll successfully reach your goals or give up in frustration along the way. When you compare yourself with others (in real life or in print) or think negatively about all the parts of your body that bother you, you’re more likely to skimp on your workout routine. When you tell yourself, “no sugar this week” then you’re more likely to obsess over the one thing you told yourself that you can’t have, and then dig in to a whole plate of brownies instead of enjoying just one. In essence, it’s your own thoughts that may be keeping you from maintaining a consistent nutrition and exercise program.

So how do you even begin if positive self-talk doesn’t come naturally to you? Start by appreciating your efforts and giving yourself a pat on the back for the good choices that you make, no matter how small.

If that doesn’t work for you, imagine that you are talking to a friend. Would you tell her that she hadn’t lost enough weight? That his arms are too skinny? Or that she should spend more time at the gym if she ever hopes to look better in a bikini? Of course not. You would cheer on your best friend for every small accomplishment, encouraging him when he feels down or telling her all the things you love about her. So why can’t you treat yourself with the same kindness and consideration?

Next, try to be more aware of your thoughts at all times. Be mindful of thoughts that come and go, and those that linger. Consciously decide to think more positively. When you notice negative self-talk in action, nip it in the bud—don’t convince yourself that your actions are pointless, that your goals aren’t attainable, or that you don’t deserve to be successful. Whether you think you’ll succeed or fail, your thoughts will become your reality. Be a success. Boost yourself up whenever you can. Be your own best friend. Have faith in yourself and the results will come. The important thing is to feel that you’re worth the effort. You deserve to be healthy and confident and strong.

It’s been said that our minds can only hold one thought at a time, which means we have a choice: We can focus on a thought that makes us feel bad or we can focus on something that makes us feel good. Every second that passes is a chance to turn things around. Even if you didn’t eat well at lunch, you can do better at dinner. You’re not a failure if you didn’t go to the gym last week. You can go today. The only thing holding you back is your thinking.

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