Tag Archives: Honesty

How To Open Your Heart?

The act of opening your heart is a bond of trust. It is the act of sharing the whims of the heart. You trust that you are being listened to and that the person has an honest response. Opening your heart is not about good reception or making things better, it’s about making yourself understood.

  1. It’s not about you. You know yourself, your heart and your love, they don‘t. The first thing you need to know about opening your heart is that you don’t do it for yourself. Don’t expect a particular outcome; the truth is your goal.
  2. Groundwork. You need to ensure that you are being listened to. When you open up to another person about your love, make sure that you have their total attention, make sure they are listening to you. Miscommunication is a pointless pain.
  3. Be honest, even if you don’t know what you feel or want. If they care, they will help you sort through whatever mess your heart is in.
  4. Ask for honesty. Show your expectation of mutual trust.
  5. Whatever happens, walk away with pride knowing you honored yourself, your feelings, and your relationship with the other person. Nothing is beautiful as honest love.

Warnings:

  • Do it for them, not yourself.
  • Don’t expect anything, but the truth.
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How To Confront Friends Who Are Ignoring You?

There may well be occasions in your life when your so-called “friends” abruptly cease to talk to you and pretend that you are no longer there. Finding out the reasons for this can be difficult but if you really want to face them, here are some suggestions for doing so.

1. Evaluate your interactions with your friend(s) and make sure that they are actually ignoring you. You might just be over-analyzing the situation and thinking that they are ignoring you, when really they are going through something else in their life that has affected all of their friendships.

  • Compare how much you and your friend used to interact with how much you’ve been interacting lately. Is it a drastic change?
  • Compare how much you and your friend interact with how much they interact with their other friends and your mutual friends. Are they hanging out with others but still ignoring you?
  • Consider whether your friend has recently gone through a life-changing event (e.g., a family death, depression, etc.) that might negatively affect their ability to maintain friendships. If this is the case, you should give them time and space. If you feel it’s appropriate, you can point out that you understand your friend has just gone through something tragic, but you really miss them in your life and wish that you two could rekindle your friendship. Be kind, and don’t add additional stress to your friend, but do reach out to let them know that you’d like to spend more time with them.
  • Think about your recent previous interactions, and see if any situations come to mind in which you could have offended or hurt your friend. Did you say something behind their back that you knew you shouldn’t? Did you make an insensitive joke or comment? If you have a history of offending this friend, you might be right that they are trying to avoid you, and you should seek amends by initiating an apologetic conversation.

2. Choose a strategy. Is it just a single friend who has started to ignore you, or is it a group of friends? Approach each situation slightly differently:

  • For a single friend: you may like to approach your friend during a quiet time when your friend is not around other people. If this is not possible at school, then try to see them after school. If your friend has started spending time with a new friend, don’t try to interfere while this person is around or they will likely close ranks together. Try to get your friend alone for a talk.
  • For a group of friends: select the weakest. This means to choose the friend you know is most likely to be feeling unhappy about snubbing you and get him or her to spill the beans away from the group. Corner them in the bathroom, in the library or after school. Anywhere, as long as you can be one hundred percent sure that no-one else from the group will see and prevent this friend from talking.

3. Ask them what’s wrong. Don’t cry, wring your hands and beg. Just be straightforward and tell them that you simply want to understand why they appear to no longer want your friendship. Be straightforward and use words such as “I feel”, “I am upset by” and “I am confused about” etc., so as to avoid starting a blame game. Try to give the friend space to talk instead of becoming defensive.

4. Accept that they might or might not tell you. Sometimes a friend outgrows a friend. This can be a horrible lesson to face in life and sadly, some people are not well-socialized enough to be open and honest about changes in their feelings about a friendship. For these people, ignoring you is a way of coping with their own feelings of pain, confusion and inability to be forthright. At this point in time, if they continue to ignore you, it may be time to call it quits and move on.

5. Remember that sometimes they may be ignoring you because you have upset them. This is more likely to happen with a single friend, although if you upset a key member of a group the rest of the group can react to it. If this is the case, you need to go straight for the source. Don’t mess about with the fringes of the group, go to the person you’ve annoyed and sort it out, just the two of you.

6. Try to make new friends and leave your old friends alone for a while. When you aren’t around anymore, they might realize that you are upset at them. If they try to talk to you, don’t be difficult with them. They might have been ignoring you for a good reason.

7. Never get angry with them while talking. If they get extremely aggressive or violent, then walk away and leave them be. Read their body language and their tone to try and find out how they really feel. If they seem stressed do everything you can to convince them to talk through it with you. But be honest with them. Tell them how you feel, and make sure you are clear about how they feel as well. Honesty is always the best policy, at least in the long run.

8. Listen carefully to what they are saying and write down what you think they are feeling.

9. Even if you may be feeling angry, don’t look like you are angry. This shows your friend that you are not trying with them and you don’t care just take deep breaths.

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Teach Your Child To Respect Women.

One of the most important values you can teach your child is how to respect women. Children, especially young children, learn to respect others by modeling behavior. Children learn appropriate and respectful behavior by observing the behavior of those around them.

Below is a list of parenting techniques to help you teach your child how to respect women.

1. Be a Good Role Model.
Treat all of the women in your life with fairness and equality. Treat all women in the manner in which you would like to be treated. Value the women in your life. Your child will learn to respect women from observing your respectful behavior towards women.

2. Value Your Child.
The most effective way to teach respect is to show respect. Valuing other’s opinions, accepting people as they are, being polite, kind, and admiring the people closest to you are key components of respect. Teach your child to respect women by valuing, accepting and admiring your child. Your child will learn through personal experience the importance of treating women with respect.

3. Be Honest.
Teach your child, through example, the value of honesty. Admitting when you do something wrong and apologizing for your actions will help your child learn the value of honesty and respect.

4. Be Positive.
Do not tolerate sexist language and attitudes. Do not embarrass, insult or make fun of your child or the women in your life. Instead, compliment your child and the women in your life. Remember, your child will learn from your behavior.

5. Be Polite.
Teach your child the importance of being polite and courteous to others.

6. Be Caring. 
It is important to teach your child to be empathetic to all individuals. Doing so will teach your child to be accepting of diversity.

7. Self-Respect.
It is important that you teach your child to value themselves. It is much easier to respect others when we respect ourselves.

8. Listen to Your Child.
Listen to your child’s concerns and ideas. Only by listening to your child can you help them mold positive values such as respect for women.

9. Show Your Child Love.
Make your child feel loved on a daily basis. Even if they make a mistake or behave inappropriately, remind them that they are loved. Remind your child that although their behavior was inappropriate and unacceptable, they are still loved and valued.

10. Do Not Tolerate Violent or Aggressive Behavior.
Teach your child that it is NOT acceptable to act violently towards others. If your child acts in an aggressive manner towards women it is important to take the time to explain why this behavior is unacceptable. Explain to your child alternative ways in which to resolve conflict other than through violence.

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