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Dumped? How To Heal The Health Effects Of A Broken Heart?

Romantic rejection can manifest in various forms of physical anguish, researchers find.

Got a stomach ache? A headache? Insomnia? Your health issues may be related to your recent romantic rejection.

When 23-year old Emmie Scott, a direct marketer in Richmond, Va., and her boyfriend/co-worker broke up and still had to endure seeing each other daily, Scott suffered a broken heart—literally. “The most uncomfortable symptom I experienced is the sensation that someone was sitting on my chest—a combination of both pain and pressure that’s left more than one of my friends commenting that my heart must actually be broken.”

Researchers now understand that romantic rejection triggers change in our brains that affect our health. Edward Smith, a Columbia University psychologist, and a team of colleagues found that intense emotional pain can activate the same neural pathways as physical pain. Seems being jilted can hurt in a primitive physical way as if you’ve been sucker-punched by a welterweight.

What’s more, that physical pain can manifest in surprising ways. Aside from chest pain, you may get hit with a kick-butt cold or flu, develop insomnia, or a range of gastro symptoms from loss of appetite to diarrhea. The precise health wallop you suffer may have to do with how your body manifests stress. Asthmatic? You could have an asthma attack. Suffer from a skin condition like eczema or psoriasis? Your skin will likely flare up. Have irritable bowel syndrome? Prepare to hit the restroom.

“While in college I found out my boyfriend (and high school sweetheart) was cheating on me. Although only 110 pounds, I dropped almost 15 and broke out with a case of shingles, which required a week of prednisone to calm,” says Christina Stoever Young, 40, producer of a historic haunted walking tour in Truckee, Calif.

Here, the top health complaints stemming from heartache:

• Complaint: Heart pressure or pain, palpitations, abnormal heart rhythms.

Why: When the stress response is triggered by a breakup or divorce, the body sends out a massive flooding of the hormones cortisol and adrenaline. “Anytime your adrenaline levels are higher, you’re more vulnerable to faster heart rate, palpitations, and certain arrhythmias, or abnormal heart rhythms, as well as skipped beats, lightheadedness, feeling your chest pounding, and a fluttering feeling in your neck,” says Dr. John M. Kennedy, a Marina Del Ray cardiologist and co-author of “The 15 Minute Heart Cure: The Natural Way to Release Stress and Heal Your Heart in Just Minutes a Day.”

Women heart patients facing severe stress from marriage difficulties were found to have three times the risk of heart attack as women without such stress. Worse, there’s a syndrome that mimics heart attack called Takotsuba syndrome, or broken heart syndrome, in which an EKG, chest X-ray, and blood work all indicate a heart attack. But when a cardiologist goes inside the heart searching for the culprit blocked artery, the arteries are wide open. The stress response simulates heart attack symptoms. “A broken heart syndrome is an extreme form of what heartache can do to our bodies,” says Kennedy. While it can be lethal, the heart muscle usually recovers within six months.

What helps: Anything that relieves stress helps prevent these heart problems during relationship troubles: exercise, yoga, meditation, relaxing through breathing or visualization, even short term anti-anxiety medication.

• Complaint: Cold or flu.

Why: These same stress hormones torch your immune system leaving you vulnerable to rogue bacteria and viruses. “Normally when you’re confronted with bacteria or virus, your body will mount a defense,” says Dr. Valerie Scott, a board certified family doctor in Mt. Pleasant, S.C. Post break up, however, your immune system is weakened and those defenses aren’t unable to ward off illness.

What helps: Managing your stress improves your immune system. Exercise, eat well, take a multi-vitamin, especially the B-complex vitamins, which boost immunity, rest enough and decompress with music, comedy or friends to counteract the flood of stress hormones.

• Complaint: Gastro upset (stomach pain, loss of appetite, diarrhea,).

Why: The excess cortisol shooting into your system during your break up diverts blood away from your digestive track, leaving you with GI unpleasantness–that ‘can’t eat for weeks, sour stomach, run to the bathroom feeling you get when your relationship tanks.

What helps: Try over-the-counter meds for your queasy stomach. In one study, researchers simulated rejection in the lab and found that aspirin alleviates the painful feelings triggered by being rebuffed. While it seems skeptical, it’s worth a try, as is curbing your desire to veg on the couch. Exercise prompts your brain to release uplifting endorphins that will settle your stomach. What’s more, misery loves company. “You want to surround yourself with family and friends and supportive people because it’s easy to get depressed,” says Kennedy, which may worsen symptoms. Camaraderie can stimulate a much-needed dose of missing oxytocin, a feel-contented hormone.

• Complaint: Insomnia.

Why: Sleeping patterns, not unlike eating patterns, become skewed during relationship demise. Some people want to stay in bed all day — while others can’t seem to sleep at all. Science really doesn’t understand why it happens, but it’s likely due to racing thoughts, the ‘he-said, she-said’ reenactment of the break up plays out mentally while at rest. Plus, stress hormones, still at their peak, may wreck your circadian rhythms and internal clock.

What helps: Stay active enough so your body will reach the reparative deep levels of sleep it needs, but don’t push yourself to exhaustion, which backfires. Exercise, but avoid it after 9 pm, since it could cause insomnia. Skip caffeine after 3 in the afternoon for the same reason. Turn off TV, computer and cell phone at least an hour before bed and embrace a relaxing sleep routine: low lighting, candles, and a warm bath. “Once you calm that stress response, all of these medical things resolve and get better,” says Scott.

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3 Tips To Overcome Breakup Pain

If you have ever been dumped, you know the toll it can take on your health. You know you will experience the loss for some time before you can even start to bounce back. If you want to get through the breakup pain quicker, then utilize these 3 tips below to put your life on the right track and perhaps get to win back your ex too.

Tip (1) – Remember how you used to talk to one another… anytime, any place. Well, that has to stop, right now. When you cut off contact with each other, both of you have time to work on yourselves. That means you won’t be yelling and screaming at each other, creating a distance further than both of you realize. Hard feelings are inevitable while you are still trying to overcome your breakup pain. How long should this last? A month typically suffices.

Tip (2) – Remain active in your life, both socially and physically. When you stay active, you keep healthy. When you stay social, you are reminded that you do have friends and loved ones who care what happened to you. By doing these two things, you will have an easier time getting over what made you upset in the first place.

Tip (3) – Remember…never let the pain control you, you control the pain. It’s the most important thing you can do for yourself. You don’t want the pain to drag you into a deep depression, which can take you away from everyone you know and love. Keep living your life as you always have been but remember you deserve someone better.

Above are the 3 tips to help you overcome your breakup pain. If you think that this person is not worth your effort and attention you need to move on. However, if you feel getting your ex back is what you want then you should focus on how to work out your relationship and give both a second chance.

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How To Improve Your Bad Habits & Develop Healthier Habits?

To develop healthier habits you must improve on your bad habits. Bad eating habits, or lack of exercise can revolt into bad health. Also just cutting out bad habits in your daily life, to improve your mental health is important as well. Bad habits can have it’s way of effecting your entire life. Sometimes we just get lazy, and that can contribute to bad habits. Having a set plan and following through it as a routine can help break bad habits. That way you can habituate healthy habits.

I think one way to help eliminate bad habits, is giving yourself rewards. However, finding the motivation and keeping it can help you develop better habits into your daily life.

1. Develop better eating habits.

Eat healthier foods and get a balanced nutrition into your diet. This is so difficult, because sometimes finding healthy foods to satisfy our taste buds can be difficult. Don’t eat foods high in saturated fats. I’ve heard that eating foods high in saturated fats convince your body to eat more. Developing healthy eating habits takes time. Try to substitute bad eating habits, with better ones. However, still allow yourself the occasional snacks, just keep them limited. Or when you do eat something that isn’t exactly healthy, you compliment it with foods that have good sources of proteins, vitamins and antioxidants in them.

2. Welcome daily exercise into your life.

Making a habit of exercising is one of the better ways to develop healthier habits. It’s not just about losing weight, or getting into better shape. It can just help you develop a better mindset. Working out is extremely healthy for your entire body. Make exercise a routine, not just a phase. You don’t have to do it everyday, but it should be weekly.

3. Change your routines.

The same routines can often cause bad habits. Doing the exact same thing can trigger your subconscious into the exact same scenarios. Whether it’s eating, lack of exercise, or just the way you manage your time. Too much of one thing can be bad. Being able to adapt to new routines will help you embrace new habits, and break your old habits. It will take an adjustment and willingness to do these things.

4. Eliminate alcohol use.

Drinking a lot of alcohol is one of the better ways to cause bad habits in your daily life. Alcohol in general is bad for your mental stability. Alcohol is often linked to depression, which can explain a lot of bad habits a person obtains in their life. Cut back on usage of alcohol, and give yourself specific rules when drinking it frequently. If you can’t manage your drinking, then you have a problem. Go to AA and don’t be afraid to get the help needed.

5. Bring more joy and pleasure into your life.

Just simply enjoying life more can allow you to feel more motivated to improve your bad habits. A good mindset is obviously needed if you’re going to break bad habits and develop healthier ones. So to do that, take time to experience new things or try to do things you enjoy. If your bad habits are the things you enjoy, then try new things. Find other ways you can enjoy yourself, that aren’t becoming bad habits. For example, bad habits might be something as simple as watching too much TV. It’s easy for something to become a bad habit, even if it’s not extremely harmful to begin with. Try picking up a book instead. It’s not healthy to be so involved into one, or two things all the time.

6. Make a list of the daily things to improve on and give yourself set rules to follow.

Make a list of your bad habits, and then develop goals to improve on. It’s good to make yourself a schedule to follow. It’s easier when you have a set plan, and rules you give yourself. Keeping your bad habits organized, and making a blueprint on improving will help you out. Sometimes one has so many bad habits, it’s hard to keep track of them. Develop a methodical approach. Let there be self rewards you give yourself, that gives yourself satisfaction when breaking through on your bad habits and developing better ones.

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Keep Calm and Carry On.

“The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.”

Things I say to myself to help me deal.

There are times we all go through that just straight up suck.

During these times, it can be hard to think about anything other than what’s going on. We can become so consumed in our own misery that we often overshadow any glimmer of hope.

Through my own experiences of hopelessness, confusion, and doubt, I’ve learned to establish a few simple, but very effective phrases to help me stay positive and to keep things in perspective.

So now, whenever things cross my path that may initially seem unbearable, or if I begin to doubt myself, I just remember and repeat some of the following mantras:

1. Keep your head up and your heart open.

I repeated this phrase to myself over and over again after my aforementioned breakup. At the time, the last thing I ever wanted to do was to open myself up again.

I trusted myself that if I just kept my head up and my heart open, good things would come into my life. And I’m glad I listened to myself.

I use this phrase both literally and figuratively.

By actually keeping your head up, smiling at people as they walk by, and keeping aware of your surroundings, you may notice something or meet someone that you potentially could have missed had your head been down.

When to use: During a break up, when you feel let down by someone, or when you feel betrayed or mistrust.

2. Go slowly.

Now, whenever I feel like I’m rushing to just get things done, I slow down my pace, take a deep breath, and take my time with whatever it is I am rushing to do.

When we slow down, we can taste all the flavors in our food and we digest our meals better. We are better communicators when we talk slower, and we become better listeners.

It’s quality over quantity.

When to use: When you are in a rush on the highway, when you’re rushing out to get lunch, or walking around the office, when you feel pressure from deadlines, or while you’re annoyed sitting in traffic.

3. Be easy.

Or in other words, don’t sweat the small stuff.

I learned to not get so worked up over the small things, stressing about matters that, in the end, really didn’t make a difference.

So, if you find yourself getting road rage from the guy that cut you off on the highway, let him be. Why get angry and stress yourself out over it? Just be easy.

Did someone on the train bump you as they walked by? Who cares? The cab is packed; it wasn’t her fault. Be easy.

When to use: When it’s 1 AM and you’re wide awake in bed, thinking about the next day’s to do list, when you spill on your new white tank top, or when the copy machine at work jams. Be easy. There are far worse things in life.

4. Let Sirena be Sirena (swap out my name with yours).

Most of us wear masks. And most of us are afraid to be ourselves, simply out of fear of judgment.

We take jobs we don’t really care for, stay in relationships we don’t genuinely love, and pretend to be someone different for everybody else.

I’m telling you, it’s a heck of a lot easier to just be you—whatever that means, whenever, wherever.

While you’re too busy making yourself appear to be someone else, you kill yourself from the inside out. And it can be a long, slow and painful death to your soul.

Bottom line? Accept yourself for who you are, and just be you.

This was the hardest lesson for me to accept, but the one that has given me the greatest clarity and direction in life.

When to use: Times when you are questioning yourself, when you feel outside pressure to do/be/say/act in a way that is not congruent with your true nature, or when you hold back from doing what you truly want to do because you’re afraid of being judged.

These mantras helped me get to this point. Having them has been an effective trick to help me stay positive and on track.

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