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Dumped? How To Heal The Health Effects Of A Broken Heart?

Romantic rejection can manifest in various forms of physical anguish, researchers find.

Got a stomach ache? A headache? Insomnia? Your health issues may be related to your recent romantic rejection.

When 23-year old Emmie Scott, a direct marketer in Richmond, Va., and her boyfriend/co-worker broke up and still had to endure seeing each other daily, Scott suffered a broken heart—literally. “The most uncomfortable symptom I experienced is the sensation that someone was sitting on my chest—a combination of both pain and pressure that’s left more than one of my friends commenting that my heart must actually be broken.”

Researchers now understand that romantic rejection triggers change in our brains that affect our health. Edward Smith, a Columbia University psychologist, and a team of colleagues found that intense emotional pain can activate the same neural pathways as physical pain. Seems being jilted can hurt in a primitive physical way as if you’ve been sucker-punched by a welterweight.

What’s more, that physical pain can manifest in surprising ways. Aside from chest pain, you may get hit with a kick-butt cold or flu, develop insomnia, or a range of gastro symptoms from loss of appetite to diarrhea. The precise health wallop you suffer may have to do with how your body manifests stress. Asthmatic? You could have an asthma attack. Suffer from a skin condition like eczema or psoriasis? Your skin will likely flare up. Have irritable bowel syndrome? Prepare to hit the restroom.

“While in college I found out my boyfriend (and high school sweetheart) was cheating on me. Although only 110 pounds, I dropped almost 15 and broke out with a case of shingles, which required a week of prednisone to calm,” says Christina Stoever Young, 40, producer of a historic haunted walking tour in Truckee, Calif.

Here, the top health complaints stemming from heartache:

• Complaint: Heart pressure or pain, palpitations, abnormal heart rhythms.

Why: When the stress response is triggered by a breakup or divorce, the body sends out a massive flooding of the hormones cortisol and adrenaline. “Anytime your adrenaline levels are higher, you’re more vulnerable to faster heart rate, palpitations, and certain arrhythmias, or abnormal heart rhythms, as well as skipped beats, lightheadedness, feeling your chest pounding, and a fluttering feeling in your neck,” says Dr. John M. Kennedy, a Marina Del Ray cardiologist and co-author of “The 15 Minute Heart Cure: The Natural Way to Release Stress and Heal Your Heart in Just Minutes a Day.”

Women heart patients facing severe stress from marriage difficulties were found to have three times the risk of heart attack as women without such stress. Worse, there’s a syndrome that mimics heart attack called Takotsuba syndrome, or broken heart syndrome, in which an EKG, chest X-ray, and blood work all indicate a heart attack. But when a cardiologist goes inside the heart searching for the culprit blocked artery, the arteries are wide open. The stress response simulates heart attack symptoms. “A broken heart syndrome is an extreme form of what heartache can do to our bodies,” says Kennedy. While it can be lethal, the heart muscle usually recovers within six months.

What helps: Anything that relieves stress helps prevent these heart problems during relationship troubles: exercise, yoga, meditation, relaxing through breathing or visualization, even short term anti-anxiety medication.

• Complaint: Cold or flu.

Why: These same stress hormones torch your immune system leaving you vulnerable to rogue bacteria and viruses. “Normally when you’re confronted with bacteria or virus, your body will mount a defense,” says Dr. Valerie Scott, a board certified family doctor in Mt. Pleasant, S.C. Post break up, however, your immune system is weakened and those defenses aren’t unable to ward off illness.

What helps: Managing your stress improves your immune system. Exercise, eat well, take a multi-vitamin, especially the B-complex vitamins, which boost immunity, rest enough and decompress with music, comedy or friends to counteract the flood of stress hormones.

• Complaint: Gastro upset (stomach pain, loss of appetite, diarrhea,).

Why: The excess cortisol shooting into your system during your break up diverts blood away from your digestive track, leaving you with GI unpleasantness–that ‘can’t eat for weeks, sour stomach, run to the bathroom feeling you get when your relationship tanks.

What helps: Try over-the-counter meds for your queasy stomach. In one study, researchers simulated rejection in the lab and found that aspirin alleviates the painful feelings triggered by being rebuffed. While it seems skeptical, it’s worth a try, as is curbing your desire to veg on the couch. Exercise prompts your brain to release uplifting endorphins that will settle your stomach. What’s more, misery loves company. “You want to surround yourself with family and friends and supportive people because it’s easy to get depressed,” says Kennedy, which may worsen symptoms. Camaraderie can stimulate a much-needed dose of missing oxytocin, a feel-contented hormone.

• Complaint: Insomnia.

Why: Sleeping patterns, not unlike eating patterns, become skewed during relationship demise. Some people want to stay in bed all day — while others can’t seem to sleep at all. Science really doesn’t understand why it happens, but it’s likely due to racing thoughts, the ‘he-said, she-said’ reenactment of the break up plays out mentally while at rest. Plus, stress hormones, still at their peak, may wreck your circadian rhythms and internal clock.

What helps: Stay active enough so your body will reach the reparative deep levels of sleep it needs, but don’t push yourself to exhaustion, which backfires. Exercise, but avoid it after 9 pm, since it could cause insomnia. Skip caffeine after 3 in the afternoon for the same reason. Turn off TV, computer and cell phone at least an hour before bed and embrace a relaxing sleep routine: low lighting, candles, and a warm bath. “Once you calm that stress response, all of these medical things resolve and get better,” says Scott.

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Why Being Alone Is Essential: 6 Ways To Enjoy Being Alone

“Not knowing how to feed the spirit, we try to muffle its demands in distraction… What matters is that one be for a time inwardly attentive.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea.

As a woman, you were probably taught or conditioned to put other people’s needs before your own. If you think that it’s selfish to put yourself before others, you may find yourself focusing a lot on others, filling up your time with busy work, and spending time with friends and family because you don’t want to be alone.

Many women who are so focused on others don’t get to know who they truly are. They don’t tend to look at and know how to address their own issues. And when it comes to love, they tend to attract men who aren’t right for them – men who don’t treat them with love, kindness and respect.

6 Reasons Why It’s Important To Be Alone :

“I find there is a quality to being alone that is incredibly precious. Life rushes back into the void, richer, more vivid, fuller than before.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh.

Being alone can seem scary because when there’s no one to distract you, you’re left with fears, insecurities and unsupportive thoughts. If this is how you view being alone, here is another perspective to consider. Being alone is liberating. It’s the place where you can understand your fears and insecurities and how they’ve been running your love life. Being alone lets you hear how your thoughts have been affecting your love life. It is where your answers to love reside.
Here’s why it’s so important to be alone.

  1. Instead of becoming frustrated and resentful towards the person(s) you been focusing your time, attention and efforts, they get to live their own lives the way they’re meant to and learn their own lessons. And you get to do the same for yourself.
  2. Instead of neglecting your own issues, you get to address them and change your life for the better.
  3. Instead of losing yourself in your partner, you get to discover who you are and contribute your wonderful self to the relationship.
  4. Instead of having your identity wrapped up in someone else, you get to be independent from someone else and function on your own.
  5. Instead of living a routine life, you get to expand your comfort zone and discover things about yourself that you never realized.
  6. Instead of leading a life of obligation or setting for less than you deserve, you get to live the life you’re meant to and enjoy the rest of the days of your life.

6 Ways To Be Alone :

“Women need solitude in order to find again the true essence of themselves.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh.

Are you feeling stressed out about life and love because you’re doing too much for others or you don’t know how to enjoy being alone? If so, put these 6 practices into your life to feel better about yourself and have a healthier love life.

1. Participate in creative activities.

Discover and do at least one creative activity on your own. For instance, if you like to write, draw or paint, start doing these things.

2. Reflect on your inner self.

Reflect and ponder on questions like, “What are my beliefs? Why do I feel that way about these beliefs?” “Who would I be without my possessions?” “Where would I love to travel and why?” “What inspires me?”

3. Learn something new.

If you’ve always wanted to learn Pilates, how to cook, speak Italian, or play the piano, take classes and learn something new.

4. Take yourself out on a date.

Go on a date by yourself to a museum you love, movie you want to see, restaurant you’ve always wanted to eat at or a place you’ve always wanted to go to.

5. Spend time outside.

Walk in nature, go on a hike, enjoy the sound of the ocean, the sand between your toes, the smell of the fresh air in the mountains, etc.

6. Have a weekend alone.

Turn off your electronic and communication devices (i.e. TV, computer, tablet, cell phone). Music is optional. Catch up on reading your favorite books and magazines.

“Woman must come of age by herself. She must find her true center alone.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh.

It is actually thoughtful, not selfish, to put yourself before others because in doing so, you become the best version of you. When you are at your best, you are able to give your best to others. Everyone around you benefits from you putting yourself first.

Remember, when you are alone with no distractions from getting to know your true self, you get to learn, appreciate and love yourself. The more you know how to be alone and enjoy your alone time, your beautiful essence will draw towards you, men who are loving, kind and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

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How To Improve Your Bad Habits & Develop Healthier Habits?

To develop healthier habits you must improve on your bad habits. Bad eating habits, or lack of exercise can revolt into bad health. Also just cutting out bad habits in your daily life, to improve your mental health is important as well. Bad habits can have it’s way of effecting your entire life. Sometimes we just get lazy, and that can contribute to bad habits. Having a set plan and following through it as a routine can help break bad habits. That way you can habituate healthy habits.

I think one way to help eliminate bad habits, is giving yourself rewards. However, finding the motivation and keeping it can help you develop better habits into your daily life.

1. Develop better eating habits.

Eat healthier foods and get a balanced nutrition into your diet. This is so difficult, because sometimes finding healthy foods to satisfy our taste buds can be difficult. Don’t eat foods high in saturated fats. I’ve heard that eating foods high in saturated fats convince your body to eat more. Developing healthy eating habits takes time. Try to substitute bad eating habits, with better ones. However, still allow yourself the occasional snacks, just keep them limited. Or when you do eat something that isn’t exactly healthy, you compliment it with foods that have good sources of proteins, vitamins and antioxidants in them.

2. Welcome daily exercise into your life.

Making a habit of exercising is one of the better ways to develop healthier habits. It’s not just about losing weight, or getting into better shape. It can just help you develop a better mindset. Working out is extremely healthy for your entire body. Make exercise a routine, not just a phase. You don’t have to do it everyday, but it should be weekly.

3. Change your routines.

The same routines can often cause bad habits. Doing the exact same thing can trigger your subconscious into the exact same scenarios. Whether it’s eating, lack of exercise, or just the way you manage your time. Too much of one thing can be bad. Being able to adapt to new routines will help you embrace new habits, and break your old habits. It will take an adjustment and willingness to do these things.

4. Eliminate alcohol use.

Drinking a lot of alcohol is one of the better ways to cause bad habits in your daily life. Alcohol in general is bad for your mental stability. Alcohol is often linked to depression, which can explain a lot of bad habits a person obtains in their life. Cut back on usage of alcohol, and give yourself specific rules when drinking it frequently. If you can’t manage your drinking, then you have a problem. Go to AA and don’t be afraid to get the help needed.

5. Bring more joy and pleasure into your life.

Just simply enjoying life more can allow you to feel more motivated to improve your bad habits. A good mindset is obviously needed if you’re going to break bad habits and develop healthier ones. So to do that, take time to experience new things or try to do things you enjoy. If your bad habits are the things you enjoy, then try new things. Find other ways you can enjoy yourself, that aren’t becoming bad habits. For example, bad habits might be something as simple as watching too much TV. It’s easy for something to become a bad habit, even if it’s not extremely harmful to begin with. Try picking up a book instead. It’s not healthy to be so involved into one, or two things all the time.

6. Make a list of the daily things to improve on and give yourself set rules to follow.

Make a list of your bad habits, and then develop goals to improve on. It’s good to make yourself a schedule to follow. It’s easier when you have a set plan, and rules you give yourself. Keeping your bad habits organized, and making a blueprint on improving will help you out. Sometimes one has so many bad habits, it’s hard to keep track of them. Develop a methodical approach. Let there be self rewards you give yourself, that gives yourself satisfaction when breaking through on your bad habits and developing better ones.

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Tips To Be Happy

The universal goal of life is happiness. Up your feel-good quotient with some of these easy-do pointers:

1. Wake up and focus for a moment on all that’s right in your life (forget the wrongs for some time). Send up a little prayer of thanks for all that’s good. 

2. Drink 2-3 glasses of warm water, followed by either green tea, lemon water, or 1 tsp amala juice.

3. Spend a few minutes going through your to-do list for the day (a good idea is to make a physical list the evening before). Plan on how you will go about your tasks and proportion time to ensure you are not faced with last-moment panic attacks. 

4. Get moving. Briskly. For at least 30 minutes every day. Doesn’t matter what you do: It could be a walk, aerobics, swimming, skipping on the terrace, yoga or even sweeping the house.

5. Practice meditation and pranayama to keep your mind calm and stress free. Kick start your meditation routine with 5 minutes today – just shut yourself in a cool, noise-free room and focus on god (or anything you fancy). Use mild incense, a candle and soft background music if you feel they help. Increase the time by 5 minutes every week. At first, you will find it difficult to keep your mind focused on one thing; don’t fret. The moment you realize you’re thinking of something else, pull your thoughts back.

6. Eat a healthy and wholesome breakfast. Try cereals/bread, eggs, fruits, soaked almonds and milk. 

7. Include fiber, calcium and iron-rich foods such as fresh green leafy vegetables, fruits, whole grains, ragi, oats, black raisins and dates in your daily diet. If you can’t get all in on one day, space out and include through the week. But do so consciously. Make a menu plan if need be. 

8. Give yourself a hair and body massage with an ayurvedic oil at least 2-3 times a week. Leave the oil on for 15-20 minutes, then shower. It will relax your mind and muscles. 

9. Take time out to do things you like at least once a week to recharge.

10. While you watch TV, once in a while soak your feet in warm water with salt.

11. Once a week find time to be with your friends. It is a known happiness booster and stress-buster. 

12. Make sure you get adequate sleep. Needs vary, but an average of 7-8 hours is good. 

13. Plan a family vacation at least once a year, and one only with your close friends, to unwind in different ways.

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Social And Mental Benefits Of Laughter.

• Laughter dissolves distressing emotions. You can’t feel anxious, angry, or sad when you’re laughing.

• Laughter helps you relax and recharge. It reduces stress and increases energy, enabling you to stay focused and accomplish more.

• Humour shifts perspective , allowing you to see situations in a more realistic, less threatening light. A humorous perspective creates psychological distance, which can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed.

• Humour and playful communication strengthen our relationships by triggering positive feelings and fostering emotional connection. When we laugh with one another, a positive bond is created. This bond acts as a strong buffer against stress, disagreements, and disappointment.

• Laughing with others is more powerful than laughing alone. Create opportunities to laugh.
– Watch a funny movie or TV show.
– Go to a comedy club.
– Read the funny pages.
– Seek out funny people.
– Share a good joke or a funny story.
– Check out your bookstore’s humor section.
– Host game night with friends.
– Play with a pet.
– Go to a “laughter yoga” class.
– Goof around with children.
– Do something silly.
– Make time for fun activities (e.g. bowling, miniature golfing, karaoke).

• Shared laughter is one of the most effective tools for keeping relationships fresh and exciting. All emotional sharing builds strong and lasting relationship bonds, but sharing laughter and play also adds joy, vitality, and resilience. And humour is a powerful and effective way to heal resentments, disagreements, and hurts. Laughter unites people during difficult times.

• Incorporating more humor and play into your daily interactions can improve the quality of your love relationships— as well as your connections with co-workers, family members, and friends. Using humor and laughter in relationships allows you to :

– Be more spontaneous.
Humour gets you out of your head and away from your troubles.

– Let go of defensiveness.
Laughter helps you forget judgments, criticisms, and doubts.

– Release inhibitions.
Your fear of holding back and holding on are set aside.

– Express your true feelings.
Deeply felt emotions are allowed to rise to the surface.

• Get a pet.
Most of us have experienced the joy of playing with a furry friend, and pets are a rewarding way to bring more laughter and joy into your life. But did you know that having a pet is also good for your mental and physical health? Studies show that pets can protect you depression, stress, and even heart disease.

• Laughter is your birthright, a natural part of life that is innate and inborn. Infants begin smiling during the first weeks of life and laugh out loud within months of being born. Even if you did not grow up in a household where laughter was a common sound, you can learn to laugh at any stage of life.

• Begin by setting aside special times to seek out humor and laughter, as you might with working out, and build from there. Eventually, you’ll want to incorporate humor and laughter into the fabric of your life, finding it naturally in everything you do.

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12 Tips For Overcoming Anxiety.

Anxiety in various forms and degrees seems to be a wide-spread problem, affecting people of all ages and in every country.

If you are prone to anxiety, you have two options:
A) Give in, and live with it.  Learn to overcome it.

By giving in, you will continue to suffer and feel unhappy, stressed and anxious. It is far better to learn to overcome anxiety, or at least weaken its grip over you.

Anxiety wastes your time and energy and weakens you, both mentally and physically. You help no one, and solve no problem by being anxious. Our planet will go on revolving, even if you stop worrying and being anxious.

B) Always know you have a choice – to give in to anxiety, or to try to overcome anxiety, at least partially.

Here are 12 tips for overcoming anxiety, or at least alleviating it:

1. Lack of control over your thoughts, strengthens your anxiety. As negative thoughts get stronger, your anxiety gets stronger too. You need to learn to control your thoughts.

2. Feelings and emotions fuel and strengthen anxiety. You need to develop some self discipline, and learn to have control over your feelings. You also need to develop some degree of emotional detachment.

3.When you go to bed at night, and first thing when you wake up in the morning, think about the good things that are happening to you. There are always some good things happening, even if small and insignificant.

4. Start the day with several minutes of positive affirmations. Tell yourself how would like your day to be. Use positive, cheering and motivating words.

5. Be busy and do something, since activity keeps your mind off your anxiety. When you wake up in the morning, start doing something right away, and keep busy all day. Cleaning the house, washing the dishes or working in your garden, reading, studying, meditating, or exercising your body can help you keep your mind away from anxiety. Staying idle, and thinking about your problems and worries won’t make them go away.

6. Set a goal and work everyday to achieve it. This action will direct your thoughts and feelings away from worries and anxieties, toward something more positive and constructive.

7. Talk about your anxieties to someone you trust. Talking about your anxieties and feelings can alleviate them, and put them in the right proportions, provided you talk objectively, and with a real desire to get rid of your anxiety, or at least reduce its intensity.

8. Exercising your body and staying fit, is a good way to keep fears and anxieties away. You can walk, swim, do yoga, aerobics, or any other sport.

9. Find reasons to laugh. This will bring light and happiness into your life, and drive anxiety away. Watch comedies on TV, be with happy and amusing friends, or read something that makes you laugh.

10. Use positive words in your conversation and in your inner talk.

11. Affirm and visualize positive situations and events. Visualize a happy and positive solution to your problems.

12. If watching the news fills you with anxiety – turn off the TV! Limit the time you watch the news, and don’t watch anything that might upset you, before you go to bed.

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7 Simple Tips to Overcome Loneliness.

Sitting still or being silent is often frowned upon. Many are taught to always be busy, to be doing something. As a result, I don’t think people deal with their feelings in healthy ways, especially when it comes to loneliness. Rather than dealing with the cause of a feeling we distract ourselves by running out to the store to buy something, turning on the TV, or drinking alcohol. It temporarily eases discomfort, but doesn’t deal with the underlying issue.

Below are 7 simple tips to help you overcome loneliness. 

1. Go ride your bike.

It’s relaxing, fun, and a great way to see your surroundings. Plan a fun biking adventure with friends or family. For example, go on an art by bike tour, picnic in the park or take a tour of your local coffee shops.

2. Write in your journal.

Writing is a powerful tool. It can help you identify many different types of feelings, including loneliness. If you’re feeling lonely, start writing. Get your emotions out on paper and start asking yourself how you can create a feeling of connection in your life. Focus on the important. Use it to write down your ideas, feelings and action items to foster reflection and make your life better.

3. Cook a real meal.

Cooking a good meal can be a meditative experience. It’s a great opportunity to mull over thoughts and lose yourself in a recipe. Cooking a real meal is also a perfect excuse to find a dinner date. Making dinner for a friend or loved one is the perfect way to create a meaningful connection. Eating with a friend is more fun. You’re more likely to eat slower and less. Do you cook real meals regularly? If not, make that part of your routine.

4. Take photographs.

Taking photos is a way to notice the details of life. Whenever I walk around with my camera and take photos I get into a zone. I notice the little things, like the morning dew on flowers or a beautiful sunset. The world is alive with beauty and has so much to offer. We just have to slow down long enough to notice. If you own a camera, take it everywhere and start taking photos. If you don’t own a camera try sketching in your journal.

5. Read a good book.

Go to your library and pick up a good book. Reading is a great way to escape into another world or glean creative ideas for your latest project. It’s a frugal way to educate yourself, be inspired and a healthy way to use your time.

6. Be still and do nothing.

Supposedly being “busy” is a sign of success in this culture. I’m not sure that’s true. Why are we all in such a hurry? Do we really create beautiful art if we we’re rushing from place to place? And if everyone is so busy, how do we create meaningful connections with others?

Slow down, take your time. Rushing from place to place can be counterproductive. Being busy can sometimes erode our sense of purpose causing us to feel undervalued and lonely. Set aside 10 minutes a day for meditation. If you have over-committed yourself to meetings or projects, consider re-prioritizing what’s important to you.

7. Set-up a coffee or tea date with a friend.

Get together with new friends for coffee and dinner dates. It’s a great way to connect with others and get out of apartment.

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