Tag Archives: Warm

Dumped? How To Heal The Health Effects Of A Broken Heart?

Romantic rejection can manifest in various forms of physical anguish, researchers find.

Got a stomach ache? A headache? Insomnia? Your health issues may be related to your recent romantic rejection.

When 23-year old Emmie Scott, a direct marketer in Richmond, Va., and her boyfriend/co-worker broke up and still had to endure seeing each other daily, Scott suffered a broken heart—literally. “The most uncomfortable symptom I experienced is the sensation that someone was sitting on my chest—a combination of both pain and pressure that’s left more than one of my friends commenting that my heart must actually be broken.”

Researchers now understand that romantic rejection triggers change in our brains that affect our health. Edward Smith, a Columbia University psychologist, and a team of colleagues found that intense emotional pain can activate the same neural pathways as physical pain. Seems being jilted can hurt in a primitive physical way as if you’ve been sucker-punched by a welterweight.

What’s more, that physical pain can manifest in surprising ways. Aside from chest pain, you may get hit with a kick-butt cold or flu, develop insomnia, or a range of gastro symptoms from loss of appetite to diarrhea. The precise health wallop you suffer may have to do with how your body manifests stress. Asthmatic? You could have an asthma attack. Suffer from a skin condition like eczema or psoriasis? Your skin will likely flare up. Have irritable bowel syndrome? Prepare to hit the restroom.

“While in college I found out my boyfriend (and high school sweetheart) was cheating on me. Although only 110 pounds, I dropped almost 15 and broke out with a case of shingles, which required a week of prednisone to calm,” says Christina Stoever Young, 40, producer of a historic haunted walking tour in Truckee, Calif.

Here, the top health complaints stemming from heartache:

• Complaint: Heart pressure or pain, palpitations, abnormal heart rhythms.

Why: When the stress response is triggered by a breakup or divorce, the body sends out a massive flooding of the hormones cortisol and adrenaline. “Anytime your adrenaline levels are higher, you’re more vulnerable to faster heart rate, palpitations, and certain arrhythmias, or abnormal heart rhythms, as well as skipped beats, lightheadedness, feeling your chest pounding, and a fluttering feeling in your neck,” says Dr. John M. Kennedy, a Marina Del Ray cardiologist and co-author of “The 15 Minute Heart Cure: The Natural Way to Release Stress and Heal Your Heart in Just Minutes a Day.”

Women heart patients facing severe stress from marriage difficulties were found to have three times the risk of heart attack as women without such stress. Worse, there’s a syndrome that mimics heart attack called Takotsuba syndrome, or broken heart syndrome, in which an EKG, chest X-ray, and blood work all indicate a heart attack. But when a cardiologist goes inside the heart searching for the culprit blocked artery, the arteries are wide open. The stress response simulates heart attack symptoms. “A broken heart syndrome is an extreme form of what heartache can do to our bodies,” says Kennedy. While it can be lethal, the heart muscle usually recovers within six months.

What helps: Anything that relieves stress helps prevent these heart problems during relationship troubles: exercise, yoga, meditation, relaxing through breathing or visualization, even short term anti-anxiety medication.

• Complaint: Cold or flu.

Why: These same stress hormones torch your immune system leaving you vulnerable to rogue bacteria and viruses. “Normally when you’re confronted with bacteria or virus, your body will mount a defense,” says Dr. Valerie Scott, a board certified family doctor in Mt. Pleasant, S.C. Post break up, however, your immune system is weakened and those defenses aren’t unable to ward off illness.

What helps: Managing your stress improves your immune system. Exercise, eat well, take a multi-vitamin, especially the B-complex vitamins, which boost immunity, rest enough and decompress with music, comedy or friends to counteract the flood of stress hormones.

• Complaint: Gastro upset (stomach pain, loss of appetite, diarrhea,).

Why: The excess cortisol shooting into your system during your break up diverts blood away from your digestive track, leaving you with GI unpleasantness–that ‘can’t eat for weeks, sour stomach, run to the bathroom feeling you get when your relationship tanks.

What helps: Try over-the-counter meds for your queasy stomach. In one study, researchers simulated rejection in the lab and found that aspirin alleviates the painful feelings triggered by being rebuffed. While it seems skeptical, it’s worth a try, as is curbing your desire to veg on the couch. Exercise prompts your brain to release uplifting endorphins that will settle your stomach. What’s more, misery loves company. “You want to surround yourself with family and friends and supportive people because it’s easy to get depressed,” says Kennedy, which may worsen symptoms. Camaraderie can stimulate a much-needed dose of missing oxytocin, a feel-contented hormone.

• Complaint: Insomnia.

Why: Sleeping patterns, not unlike eating patterns, become skewed during relationship demise. Some people want to stay in bed all day — while others can’t seem to sleep at all. Science really doesn’t understand why it happens, but it’s likely due to racing thoughts, the ‘he-said, she-said’ reenactment of the break up plays out mentally while at rest. Plus, stress hormones, still at their peak, may wreck your circadian rhythms and internal clock.

What helps: Stay active enough so your body will reach the reparative deep levels of sleep it needs, but don’t push yourself to exhaustion, which backfires. Exercise, but avoid it after 9 pm, since it could cause insomnia. Skip caffeine after 3 in the afternoon for the same reason. Turn off TV, computer and cell phone at least an hour before bed and embrace a relaxing sleep routine: low lighting, candles, and a warm bath. “Once you calm that stress response, all of these medical things resolve and get better,” says Scott.

Image

Advertisements

Do You Feel Misunderstood By So Many People – Always Trying To Be Understood? Here’s 3 Things That Actually Work.

Do you ever feel misunderstood? Do you ever feel that way, a lot?

I know I do – it’s one of the most frustrating parts of our existence. We strive to be fully known – to have someone embrace our ideals, thoughts, and opinions.

We desire others to really understand us at a deep level, even if they disagree or their views are different. We really desire to just be…understood.

However, sometimes this is to a fault. Sometimes you and I both can want this to our detriment, meaning we can strive so hard to win other people’s understanding that we drain all of our energy trying to get there.

In the event trying to get others’ understanding on a continual basis keeps happening, here’s 3 things you can do INSTEAD that actually work:

1. Verbalize when something’s part of your personality.

You would be surprised, but this works. When others hear you say something is part of your personality and it’s just how you’re wired, and they can genuinely see you’re content with that, they may have additional little tid bits to say, but it won’t be much – anything beyond that, and your person-hood is being insulted. Most will just accept that – they’ll have to.

Most people respect what is part of who you are.

The key here is not abusing this phrase – for example, eating fruit is not a part of who you are – it’s something you really like.

If you over-use it, you can’t expect that it will be respected.

Stick to using this strategy for personable traits such as “I need alone time often – it’s part of my personality” or “I really don’t like small talk – it’s just part of my personality.”

2. Back away from the argument.

Here’s the thing. When we argue with someone back and forth, back and forth, trying to get our point, personality, POV understood – we are giving the argument power, not the relationship.

Have you ever stepped back from an ongoing argument and calmly said “okay, it’s cool – I am really SO okay if you don’t get it?”

This is powerful. It reverts the power back to the relationship – relating to one another – and makes it less about the power of two people trying to be understood.

When you genuinely let someone know you can let it go or agree to disagree, it’s amazing how understanding sometimes suddenly appears! It doesn’t always, but I’ve had this happen to me so many times – when you calm the atmosphere, understanding comes a lot easier.

3. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

There is nothing more powerful than showing someone else you fully understand their POV, if in fact, you do (don’t say you do if you don’t).

As humans, this is all we want – understanding & connection. Think about how powerful YOU feel when someone looks into your eyes and says “yeah, I get it.” It’s like warm honey to our minds. We crave understanding from another person.

So, in the same way you know that, genuinely let someone else know that you fully understand them first, THEN you can have your turn.

This is the beauty of being a giving individual. You have the opportunity to selflessly give to another with no promise of a return.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

Have any of these worked for you? Will you be trying any of them? If I didn’t list something that either works for you OR you have used before here, please do share it below. I welcome your perspective & stories.

Thank you for being here.

Image