Tag Archives: Woman

Why Being Alone Is Essential: 6 Ways To Enjoy Being Alone

“Not knowing how to feed the spirit, we try to muffle its demands in distraction… What matters is that one be for a time inwardly attentive.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea.

As a woman, you were probably taught or conditioned to put other people’s needs before your own. If you think that it’s selfish to put yourself before others, you may find yourself focusing a lot on others, filling up your time with busy work, and spending time with friends and family because you don’t want to be alone.

Many women who are so focused on others don’t get to know who they truly are. They don’t tend to look at and know how to address their own issues. And when it comes to love, they tend to attract men who aren’t right for them – men who don’t treat them with love, kindness and respect.

6 Reasons Why It’s Important To Be Alone :

“I find there is a quality to being alone that is incredibly precious. Life rushes back into the void, richer, more vivid, fuller than before.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh.

Being alone can seem scary because when there’s no one to distract you, you’re left with fears, insecurities and unsupportive thoughts. If this is how you view being alone, here is another perspective to consider. Being alone is liberating. It’s the place where you can understand your fears and insecurities and how they’ve been running your love life. Being alone lets you hear how your thoughts have been affecting your love life. It is where your answers to love reside.
Here’s why it’s so important to be alone.

  1. Instead of becoming frustrated and resentful towards the person(s) you been focusing your time, attention and efforts, they get to live their own lives the way they’re meant to and learn their own lessons. And you get to do the same for yourself.
  2. Instead of neglecting your own issues, you get to address them and change your life for the better.
  3. Instead of losing yourself in your partner, you get to discover who you are and contribute your wonderful self to the relationship.
  4. Instead of having your identity wrapped up in someone else, you get to be independent from someone else and function on your own.
  5. Instead of living a routine life, you get to expand your comfort zone and discover things about yourself that you never realized.
  6. Instead of leading a life of obligation or setting for less than you deserve, you get to live the life you’re meant to and enjoy the rest of the days of your life.

6 Ways To Be Alone :

“Women need solitude in order to find again the true essence of themselves.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh.

Are you feeling stressed out about life and love because you’re doing too much for others or you don’t know how to enjoy being alone? If so, put these 6 practices into your life to feel better about yourself and have a healthier love life.

1. Participate in creative activities.

Discover and do at least one creative activity on your own. For instance, if you like to write, draw or paint, start doing these things.

2. Reflect on your inner self.

Reflect and ponder on questions like, “What are my beliefs? Why do I feel that way about these beliefs?” “Who would I be without my possessions?” “Where would I love to travel and why?” “What inspires me?”

3. Learn something new.

If you’ve always wanted to learn Pilates, how to cook, speak Italian, or play the piano, take classes and learn something new.

4. Take yourself out on a date.

Go on a date by yourself to a museum you love, movie you want to see, restaurant you’ve always wanted to eat at or a place you’ve always wanted to go to.

5. Spend time outside.

Walk in nature, go on a hike, enjoy the sound of the ocean, the sand between your toes, the smell of the fresh air in the mountains, etc.

6. Have a weekend alone.

Turn off your electronic and communication devices (i.e. TV, computer, tablet, cell phone). Music is optional. Catch up on reading your favorite books and magazines.

“Woman must come of age by herself. She must find her true center alone.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh.

It is actually thoughtful, not selfish, to put yourself before others because in doing so, you become the best version of you. When you are at your best, you are able to give your best to others. Everyone around you benefits from you putting yourself first.

Remember, when you are alone with no distractions from getting to know your true self, you get to learn, appreciate and love yourself. The more you know how to be alone and enjoy your alone time, your beautiful essence will draw towards you, men who are loving, kind and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

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The Best Ways To Deal With People Who Hurt You

Confronting someone who has hurt you can be a difficult and daunting task.

No matter what your position in life, reality star, politician, or one of us normal people, the actions of others can sometimes hurt you. Some people try to tough it out and will pretend the words roll right off them, but there is always a little something that gets into our heads and rattles our emotional cages.

When that happens, the first thing to do is to consider the source. If it is someone who is drunk, disgruntled, or disgusting, you can more easily disregard what was said or done. If the person is someone you work with or have a relationship with, then things become a little more complicated.

Letting someone know that they have hurt you may not be easy. Guys can have a harder time with this, because they’ve been told not to give into their feelings, and like most of us, may try to ignore idiotic comments. Sometimes that just isn’t possible, however, so before you react, check in with yourself and see if it’s worth the effort. In most cases, you’ll want to mention the offense before the offending party forgets it ever happened.

Confronting someone who has hurt you can be a difficult and daunting task for a lot of people. We become frightened that our intention (to end the hurt) will be misunderstood, and we will look like a fool. We may also fear that even a gentle confrontation may push our friend away or turn a coworker into an enemy. Hesitation is understandable, but something needs to be said, or the problem may continue.

Saying to another person, man or woman, “What you said hurt my feelings, please don’t do that again,” is absolutely appropriate. It’s just hard to get it out sometimes. Fear of being hurt further, or being embarrassed that you are feeling emotional, can keep you from protecting yourself. However, protecting yourself is necessary, especially if the problem persists.

After you have expressed your feelings, what you need is for the other person to acknowledge what you’ve said and agree to honor your wishes. Once you’ve received that acknowledgment, then you have to wait and see what happens.

Avoidance is another strategy, but if you are involved in a business or personal relationship with the person who has offended you, avoiding him or her will be difficult. Ending the relationship is always an option, but it may well be an overreaction.

Most people understand when they have crossed the line and are willing to pull back once they understand their transgression. If that doesn’t happen, you may need to be the one who withdraws, so you don’t have to deal with the negativity.

The less you feed the bully, the less often he or she will try and take your lunch. The other person is going to need your help at some point, and this is where you get to illustrate what being a kind and giving person is all about. As always, example is our best teacher.

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Life After A Break Up – Whose Fault Is It?

Life after a break up can be painful, but the soul searching that most people with broken hearts indulge in can be even more painful. Relationships fail at times, but can you really point fingers?

Breaking up is always hard to do. However, when we are smitten by the thing called love, none of us are really looking that far ahead. All we want to do is to indulge in the happiness of the moment.

The more philosophical among us would know that the wave that is reaching its peak will soon start to break and form a trough. The ups and downs or the waves in our life are what give it a balance. Like the swing of the pendulum, issues will be positive, and then go negative. The ebbs and flows are not just a part of nature, but of ourselves as well.

Unless we understand this, we are bound to be miserable when things are down for us.

A woman had been married for barely four months and because of the stress, strain and trauma that she was experiencing, she decided that it was best to opt for a divorce. This was a marriage that had blossomed out of a happy romance to start with.

One of the things she was most upset about was how she was not able to read her husband well enough? How did he turn out to be so different after marriage, when he was so good when they were courting? The thing that she admired in him was his outgoing nature, while she was a bit introverted as a person.

After marriage, his outgoing nature was perceived as a carefree, no-goals characteristic that she had begun to detest.

His non-flustered style was appreciated earlier as being so cool in the most troubling situations. Now she saw this as being totally devoid of feeling, and called him stone-hearted, and out of touch with reality.

But on deeper thinking, she realized where she too had contributed to the breakdown in the relationship. She also regretted that she had challenged her parents, and walked out of her house in order to marry this person who was from a different upbringing and community. She now felt that she should have taken time to explain things to her parents, instead of thinking that they would never understand her.

As it turned out, her parents were the first people whom she turned to in this crisis, and they were the ones who suggested that she visit a counselor and try to sort things out in the marriage. She was now suffering from a guilt complex. The people she judged, her parents, did not judge her at the time when she had decided to face the failure. It took some doing to pull her out of the quagmire that she had created for herself. But she has now regained her sanity, and is taking a break before she takes a firm decision in her life.

The first thing that we normally do when things fail is to look for someone to blame. Curiously, it is always the ‘other person’s fault’. It is not easy for us to see our own flaws. Even when we try to find out where we have been wrong, this is difficult, as there is always some area of our behavior or attitude that we cannot see. It is a blind side that others would have noticed, but most often, not brought to our notice. Even if they did mention it to us, we would probably have brushed it aside, ascribing jealousy, or a lack of perceptual competence as the reason for the negative comment.

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